Brene Brown talks about the concept of having a ‘Strong Back, Soft Front and Wild Heart’. I feel like as my heart cracks open, I have been swirling around things that I desperately want to share with you but am feeling completely vulnerable and afraid to. So if it is ok with you, I am going to hit publish anyway and take in all the emotions.
Life was meant to be perfect. I was going to finish university, get married, have kids and live happily ever after.
Isn’t that what the fairy tale says should happen?
I was on track, I listened to my parents and I followed the rules, I played by the book and went along with the ‘plan’. To the point where I was unsure of what I actually wanted or of my own opinion.
It is only now, at the ripe old age of 37 that I find myself in a predicament and challenging so many things…..
Living life with a safety net is not what it is cracked up to be. While it is nice to have security (weekly salary, superannuation etc), no one ever tells you that it can be ripped from underneath you in a split second. Hello, being made redundant from a teaching role I had for 9 years. What an eye-opener, I have never been treated so poorly. On the flip side, it was a massive wake up call.
Now, this one may make you slightly uncomfortable. Relationships are forever. I honestly believe that people come into your life for a second, day, a month, a year or a lifetime for a purpose. To share with you the lessons you need to learn. There have been a few significant ones that have shifted my beliefs.
The first, my buddy and great friend Ben. He was my training partner, play mate, and all round amazing guy. He was taken from us just before my 13th birthday after having an accident at the ‘The Gap’ up at Watson’s Bay. The loss of him, shook up my world, more than I give it credit for.
The second was my Dad. There is something cruel about a girl not being able to walk down the aisle with her Dad. Even more unfair is that her children won’t be able to meet the most influential man who shaped their mother's life in so many positive ways. Deep down I know that no one will be able to teach them how to surf, fish or instill a work ethic quite like this man could.
Currently, I find myself navigating a new space. A heartbreaking one that was not done lightly. Right now, I am living out a co-parent nesting situation. A new and unfamiliar world to me. My children are living in our family home as their dad and I move in and out because, at the end of the day, they ARE our main priorities. It was an agreed decision so that their little lives remain as stable and familiar as possible.
The reasons for this, I am not prepared to go into, all I know is that my kids chose us to be their parents, so we are going to love them up as much as we can, guide them the best way we know how, despite the relationship coming to a close.
So in every fairy tale there is a moral, a lesson, something to think more deeply about.
As a result of all the mess, the lessons the tears and the heartbreak, there are a few things I know for sure.
I know that I now have a clear and shining vision.
I am here to link arms with, guide and empower Mum’s to RISE UP and reach their potential. To help them believe in their capabilities as women and feel empowered to take care of themselves and their families health and wealth.
I know there is a lot of hard work ahead of me, but it doesn’t scare me, it excites me. Every hardship, every rejection, every health concern, every experience has molded me into a warrior that is ready for this quest.
I SEE you Mumma. I see you hiding. I see you scared to step into your own power.
I FEEL you Mumma. I feel your pain, your guilt and embarrassment.
I LIFT you Mumma. Your gifts to the world are ready to be cracked open, released and set free to soar.